Sand Castles

This past weekend,I decided to go build sand castles.

The day was too beautiful not to partake in her symphony.

So I got on my two-piece and headed to Ocean Beach.

Ocean_Beach

Marvelous, right?

The only problem when one lets herself play is that play might have been forgotten in these grown-up legs and grown-up arms. (Not to mention a grown-up belly that may be judged no matter how lovely or unlovely it is.)

So I did what any child would do: I started to play, I let things come back naturally, and I returned to an innocence that shirked off any knowledge of wounded physical projections onto me.

When I started, there were some 'glitches': I couldn't remember how kids figured out where to build their sand castles.

(You see, kids know the right mixture of moisture to sand ratio inherently. I moved twice before recalling ancient memories of knowing with my body.)

When I need to move because things went 'wrong', I did what any other well-trained child would do: I enthusiastically problem-solved and simply said, "Oh...I need more dry sand!"

(I then had to figure out how to move my adult belongings back a few yards to just the right spot. It was a conundrum for a second because how does one move things when her hands are gritty, sandy, and 'dirty'? But a child would have no problem! And in the end neither did I. Who cares if I need to shake out my pack at the end of a beach-filled day?)

Mush

sand

I also got off the white sheet. And onto the sand. Hunched over or sitting straight, whatever the task demanded-- the child in me was liberated to really play, concentrate, once again be confident in her own sense of self, and receive joy.

How freeing!

Sheet

Once I figured out where to build, I also had to relearn how to build.

There are no calculations.  No thinking of efficiency. None of that. The sand won't let you. And your inner child will refuse!

 

In_Process

So my hands and spirit ended up making a dome made up of tiny domes. This adult-being-a-child only had a kitchen bowl...

And in all of this, I was reminded of something this Petra Pan had almost forgotten: my favorite part is creating the moat.

xo

sand_castle