I am beginning to wonder this:  the only way for me to to really be free from another is to allow myself to be judged, slandered, misunderstood, 'crucified' and to remain myself, ideally being filled from love and Love within rather than from an individual's perspective of me or my own marred one.  To choose to see woundedness in the midst of another's reality and to choose to see mine.  To allow another their own dignity to take responsibility for themselves and allow myself the dignity to take responsibility for myself.  To allow myself to feel feelings that may come along with those dignified actions if acted upon:  fear of the unknown, sadness, lament, anger, anxiety, perhaps even serenity.  By doing so, I think I am taking steps towards loving rather than interfering, and caring rather than controlling.  And as hard as that may be, by treating myself gently and loving myself, I open myself up to Love pouring down all around me, being a Life Raft, and allowing me to float down the river of life instead of sinking and drowning at my own expense.